There are a lot of single parents out there. If you are like me, you resent hearing the news and everybody else saying"...They are like that because they come from a single parent home..." Why is that? I know there are some who don't take their parenting duties seriously. A lot of us work very hard to give our children the upbringing they need. That even includes Whoopin' that Ass is we have to. There is a difference between discipline and abuse. Spare the rod, spoil the child; and all that.
Anyway, the ones that give single parents a bad name are the ones I have real issue with. DO YOUR JOB! Stop looking for someone else to bail you out. You laid down and made the children, now stand up and do right by them! Inspire them to be more than you are. Encourage them to pursue their dreams. Help them set goal! Lead by example.
People say you can't teach what you don't know...You don't have to. Just show them the way. Expose them to different things. Don't let them be ashamed of speaking proper English, being polite, working hard for a living and getting good grades in school. Make them earn those PS3, XBox, and Nintendo. Give them consequences when they do something bad. Trust and believe, the police will later in life.
Stop taking advantage of the drug money they bring home. Stop encouraging them to wear those baggy clothes, that bling in their mouth, around their necks and in their ears. Make those kids live within your means. If you can't afford Nike, don't buy them. If they haven't earned Nike's...Don't buy them. In real life, you don't get something for nothing. Everyone won't be a rapper, football or basketball player.
Teach your children the value of respect. If they don't respect you, the damn sure ain't gonna respect anyone else. To be honest, you have to earn their respect. How can your daughters respect you if you bring different men home? How can your son's for that matter. If you don't carry yourself in a respectful way, how will your children learn.
Stop looking for that 40 acres and a mule...Reparations is not happening. Earn your own 40 acres. Does that mean you have to be a college grad for your kids to be?...No! But it does mean you need to encourage them to go further that you have.
We see that we can be anything we want. Hell...we have a Black Man for president, who has won a Noble Peace prize. Stop blaming others for the problems you have created. Instead of problems, make them opportunities for progress and improvement. If you don't learn from your mistakes, you are destined to repeat them, and so are your children.
Let really make that excuse, "they come from a single parent home" exactly what it really is...BULLSHIT!!!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
What is Love???
The dictionary defines Love as "a profoundly, tender, passionate affection for another person." But what is it really? Sometimes I think love is evil. Love can make you blind to things once important in your life. I guess that is the meaning of 'Love is blind'. Love can have your 'nose wide open'. Love can make you think no one wants you to be happy be the one you claim to love. Love can make you sequester yourself away from the real world. Love can make you turn your back on your family.
Love Stinks! Love is a Battlefield. Love makes the world go round. In truth, love drives everything we do. We lie, steal, kill and do lots of awful things, all in the name of love. Not only is love the most confusing emotion there is, it is also the most confused. We think we love someone because they give us the attention we craze. We think we love someone because the sex is good. We think we are in love because a person is nice to us.
We all show love in different ways. Some of us smother with love, while others love by giving freedom. If you are a smotherer, you may not recognize the love that is given by someone that gives freedom love. If you are a freedom lover, you are probably overwhelmed by the smotherer. If I don't recognize the kind of love you give....is it really love?
"I love you...I'm in love with you." Do they mean the same? You can love someone without being in love, but can you be in love without loving?
Mainly, love is about compromise. If you are unwilling to compromise for the sake of love, are you really in love? What happens when you fall out of love? Does that tender, passionate affection go away? Can you fall out of love in a week? Can you be in love with someone in 2 months? What happens when the "Honeymoon period" is over? Will you still be in love? Someone once said to me, "Love is patient." Does love really wait? Can you really love someone else, if you don't really love yourself? Can you even tell when you don't love yourself? Can being in love be an excuse to not be alone?
To me love can only be define over time. Time will really tell if it really is love. For those of you who are 'In Love' and that love is being given back to you in a way you recognize...Hooray!!! I know how you feel...I'm there. For those of you who are still looking for love in all the wrong place...I feel sorry for you. Maybe the one place you haven't looked is where you will find it...Look inside yourself, before you look for someone else the validate you. Open your heart to the possibility of you being good enough to be loved, and find some self love.
Good luck on your hunt for LOVE.
Love Stinks! Love is a Battlefield. Love makes the world go round. In truth, love drives everything we do. We lie, steal, kill and do lots of awful things, all in the name of love. Not only is love the most confusing emotion there is, it is also the most confused. We think we love someone because they give us the attention we craze. We think we love someone because the sex is good. We think we are in love because a person is nice to us.
We all show love in different ways. Some of us smother with love, while others love by giving freedom. If you are a smotherer, you may not recognize the love that is given by someone that gives freedom love. If you are a freedom lover, you are probably overwhelmed by the smotherer. If I don't recognize the kind of love you give....is it really love?
"I love you...I'm in love with you." Do they mean the same? You can love someone without being in love, but can you be in love without loving?
Mainly, love is about compromise. If you are unwilling to compromise for the sake of love, are you really in love? What happens when you fall out of love? Does that tender, passionate affection go away? Can you fall out of love in a week? Can you be in love with someone in 2 months? What happens when the "Honeymoon period" is over? Will you still be in love? Someone once said to me, "Love is patient." Does love really wait? Can you really love someone else, if you don't really love yourself? Can you even tell when you don't love yourself? Can being in love be an excuse to not be alone?
To me love can only be define over time. Time will really tell if it really is love. For those of you who are 'In Love' and that love is being given back to you in a way you recognize...Hooray!!! I know how you feel...I'm there. For those of you who are still looking for love in all the wrong place...I feel sorry for you. Maybe the one place you haven't looked is where you will find it...Look inside yourself, before you look for someone else the validate you. Open your heart to the possibility of you being good enough to be loved, and find some self love.
Good luck on your hunt for LOVE.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Forgiveness
Forgiveness...What does that really mean? According to the dictionary it means "to cease to feel resentment against someone." The real question is how do you get rid of the resentment? How do you get past the hurt. Now you might say, I'm not hurt, I'm Mad as hell. If you dig deep and are honest with yourself, you are hurting.
Isn't it funny (ironic) that when we are hurting, we seek to hurt the person that is hurting us? What does that help us gain? Closure? Maybe some primitive satisfaction? What happens then, after we get our revenge? Does that cycle continue? Do I get you back, and so on and so on. At that rate, when do we get to Forgiveness? Does the hurt have to wear off first? How long should that take? What can you do to move that healing along? Maybe the answer is to forgive yourself first. You say "WHAT...I haven't done anything!" Stop...think back. Where did all this begin?
My Grandfather told me, that while you are pointing you finger at someone, you have at least 3 fingers pointing back at you. Even I have to get into the mind set of not pointing finger before I get all the facts. I have a "newly found friend" and follower of my blog to thank for helping me see that.
We rarely put ourselves in the other person's shoes. If we did, what would we see from the other person's view? Most of us have heard the saying, 'Walk a mile in someone else's shoes.'
What would you discover about yourself? Would you like yourself? Would you be able to forgive someone for doing to you what you did to them?
In order to open your hearts and minds to forgive others, you MUST be able to admit your own misgivings and then forgive yourself. We need to learn how to be accountable for your own actions. How to take responsibility for our mistakes in life. How not to be the victim of our own lives. How not to point fingers at someone else, and blame them for our actions. We need to stop saying "You made me do this or that." Unless the person holds a gun to your head and threaten your life, you can make your own choices.
Lets take a day and look at ourselves, our actions, our inability to admit we are wrong or did something wrong, and take the time to own up to our mistakes. Once you admit to yourself that you are not blameless in a situation...Once you are able to admit your own failures. Then and only then can the healing process begin. That process begins with you having the ability to forgive yourself first.
Let Today be the first step in the Healing Process. Forgiveness starts with YOU!!!
Isn't it funny (ironic) that when we are hurting, we seek to hurt the person that is hurting us? What does that help us gain? Closure? Maybe some primitive satisfaction? What happens then, after we get our revenge? Does that cycle continue? Do I get you back, and so on and so on. At that rate, when do we get to Forgiveness? Does the hurt have to wear off first? How long should that take? What can you do to move that healing along? Maybe the answer is to forgive yourself first. You say "WHAT...I haven't done anything!" Stop...think back. Where did all this begin?
My Grandfather told me, that while you are pointing you finger at someone, you have at least 3 fingers pointing back at you. Even I have to get into the mind set of not pointing finger before I get all the facts. I have a "newly found friend" and follower of my blog to thank for helping me see that.
We rarely put ourselves in the other person's shoes. If we did, what would we see from the other person's view? Most of us have heard the saying, 'Walk a mile in someone else's shoes.'
What would you discover about yourself? Would you like yourself? Would you be able to forgive someone for doing to you what you did to them?
In order to open your hearts and minds to forgive others, you MUST be able to admit your own misgivings and then forgive yourself. We need to learn how to be accountable for your own actions. How to take responsibility for our mistakes in life. How not to be the victim of our own lives. How not to point fingers at someone else, and blame them for our actions. We need to stop saying "You made me do this or that." Unless the person holds a gun to your head and threaten your life, you can make your own choices.
Lets take a day and look at ourselves, our actions, our inability to admit we are wrong or did something wrong, and take the time to own up to our mistakes. Once you admit to yourself that you are not blameless in a situation...Once you are able to admit your own failures. Then and only then can the healing process begin. That process begins with you having the ability to forgive yourself first.
Let Today be the first step in the Healing Process. Forgiveness starts with YOU!!!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
What Goes Around Comes Around
Karma...Is the Hindu meaning that the results in life, good or bad, are what you bring on yourself. To put it in English terms...What Goes Around Comes Around...You get what you give in life!
Did you ever have something bad happen to you and then ask..."What did I do to deserve this"? If you just took the time to remember how shitty you treated someone that trusted you, you wouldn't have to ask that question.
I recently had someone show me just how untrustworthy people are. This person smiled in my face over dinner, communicated with me on face book, talked to me on the phone...listening to my advice, all the while planning how to get even.
How do you trust people now-a-days, when you stick your neck out, and then find out you are just a pawn in their whole twisted game? Why is the need for revenge so strong in us? Why do we feel the need to get even? Tit for Tat as a friend put it. Don't you know that you basically curse your blessings when you do evil or harm to others.
The nerve of some people. To have the "Balls" to laugh, skin and grin in someones face, all the while already having your plan laid out, to take advantage. We thinking they are laughing with us, while all along, the jokes on us!
Why do we as human beings have to have the attitude...You got me last time, I'll get back. 1 for me 2 for you. Trust and Believe, you can't treat people wrong and expect good things to come your way. What goes around, comes around. Just the way you "get" someone, someone will get you 3 times worse.
Payback is a bitch...and You get what you give!...Karma!!!
Did you ever have something bad happen to you and then ask..."What did I do to deserve this"? If you just took the time to remember how shitty you treated someone that trusted you, you wouldn't have to ask that question.
I recently had someone show me just how untrustworthy people are. This person smiled in my face over dinner, communicated with me on face book, talked to me on the phone...listening to my advice, all the while planning how to get even.
How do you trust people now-a-days, when you stick your neck out, and then find out you are just a pawn in their whole twisted game? Why is the need for revenge so strong in us? Why do we feel the need to get even? Tit for Tat as a friend put it. Don't you know that you basically curse your blessings when you do evil or harm to others.
The nerve of some people. To have the "Balls" to laugh, skin and grin in someones face, all the while already having your plan laid out, to take advantage. We thinking they are laughing with us, while all along, the jokes on us!
Why do we as human beings have to have the attitude...You got me last time, I'll get back. 1 for me 2 for you. Trust and Believe, you can't treat people wrong and expect good things to come your way. What goes around, comes around. Just the way you "get" someone, someone will get you 3 times worse.
Payback is a bitch...and You get what you give!...Karma!!!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Breaking Up is Hard To Do
I'm sure we have all had relationships that didn't last. But did you realize that when you are with someone for a long time, you not only break up with your no longer significant other, but you may be expected to break up with their families too?
What then happens to mutual friends? Do you divide them up like you do your furniture? "You can have these friends and I'll take the good ones." How is the family suppose to respond to the "New Friend"? Is the family suppose to "divorce" the "Ex" as well? What if , we DON'T want to divorce the "Ex"? Should we stop talking to the "Ex" just because they are no longer technically part of the "Family"? How is one supposed to act?
I recently celebrated a birthday, and my relatives took me to dinner. The "Ex" came to dinner with us, but the "New Friend" didn't. The "New Friend" felt left out, but what was I supposed to do. I wanted the "Ex" there! (And I had a Great time too!) What's going to happen when I have a party, do I not invite the "Ex" if the family member is bringing the "New Friend"?
Am I suppose to just forget the "Ex" and start excepting the "New Friend"? What to do? What to do? 'Cause Breaking Up Is Hard to Do!!!
What then happens to mutual friends? Do you divide them up like you do your furniture? "You can have these friends and I'll take the good ones." How is the family suppose to respond to the "New Friend"? Is the family suppose to "divorce" the "Ex" as well? What if , we DON'T want to divorce the "Ex"? Should we stop talking to the "Ex" just because they are no longer technically part of the "Family"? How is one supposed to act?
I recently celebrated a birthday, and my relatives took me to dinner. The "Ex" came to dinner with us, but the "New Friend" didn't. The "New Friend" felt left out, but what was I supposed to do. I wanted the "Ex" there! (And I had a Great time too!) What's going to happen when I have a party, do I not invite the "Ex" if the family member is bringing the "New Friend"?
Am I suppose to just forget the "Ex" and start excepting the "New Friend"? What to do? What to do? 'Cause Breaking Up Is Hard to Do!!!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Truthful Saturday
Have we become so sensitive at work that you can be yourself? At the company I work for, they speak of being honest, but you can't or you risk "hurting" someones feelings, getting written up and then having to deal with the poor attitudes.
People worry more about getting along than they do getting the job done.
Same thing goes for relationships. A friend of mine asked, "Why do people always want the truth, but when they get it, it becomes a problem..." The real answer to that is, people aren't honest with themselves. We make ourselves sick because we hold so much in, so we don't hurt any ones feeling. Then when it blows up, we don't care about the feelings, we intentionally want to hurt.
I think if we said what we felt at the time, we would have blow ups. For one day, try being honest with everyone...especially yourself.
Someone asks you if they look fat, and they do, don't lie to spare the feeling, just say: "Honestly, you do."
Let all have "Truthful Saturday" August 22nd, 2009.
Let me know how it goes.
People worry more about getting along than they do getting the job done.
Same thing goes for relationships. A friend of mine asked, "Why do people always want the truth, but when they get it, it becomes a problem..." The real answer to that is, people aren't honest with themselves. We make ourselves sick because we hold so much in, so we don't hurt any ones feeling. Then when it blows up, we don't care about the feelings, we intentionally want to hurt.
I think if we said what we felt at the time, we would have blow ups. For one day, try being honest with everyone...especially yourself.
Someone asks you if they look fat, and they do, don't lie to spare the feeling, just say: "Honestly, you do."
Let all have "Truthful Saturday" August 22nd, 2009.
Let me know how it goes.
Family vs. Friends
So many times I hear..."But that's your family..." Why is it okay for your family to treat you like crap and you should just get over it. But if it were a friend, your friendship would probably be over?
Should being family entitle you to privileges outsiders don't get? If so, why? Atleast you get to choose your friends. You don't get to pick your family members. How many of your family would you have chosen if given the chance? For me...well probably less than 10% of them. Maybe not even that much.
If you can stop being friends with someone over something they did, shouldn't you be able to do the same thing to a family member? Just because blood is thicker than water, does that mean you keep turning the other cheek?
Should being family entitle you to privileges outsiders don't get? If so, why? Atleast you get to choose your friends. You don't get to pick your family members. How many of your family would you have chosen if given the chance? For me...well probably less than 10% of them. Maybe not even that much.
If you can stop being friends with someone over something they did, shouldn't you be able to do the same thing to a family member? Just because blood is thicker than water, does that mean you keep turning the other cheek?
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