I'm sure we have all had relationships that didn't last. But did you realize that when you are with someone for a long time, you not only break up with your no longer significant other, but you may be expected to break up with their families too?
What then happens to mutual friends? Do you divide them up like you do your furniture? "You can have these friends and I'll take the good ones." How is the family suppose to respond to the "New Friend"? Is the family suppose to "divorce" the "Ex" as well? What if , we DON'T want to divorce the "Ex"? Should we stop talking to the "Ex" just because they are no longer technically part of the "Family"? How is one supposed to act?
I recently celebrated a birthday, and my relatives took me to dinner. The "Ex" came to dinner with us, but the "New Friend" didn't. The "New Friend" felt left out, but what was I supposed to do. I wanted the "Ex" there! (And I had a Great time too!) What's going to happen when I have a party, do I not invite the "Ex" if the family member is bringing the "New Friend"?
Am I suppose to just forget the "Ex" and start excepting the "New Friend"? What to do? What to do? 'Cause Breaking Up Is Hard to Do!!!
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This is a very good inquiry and deserves level headed answers. I will post it and see what the children say
ReplyDeletewell what I think is that you can be friends with the ex and the new girl if no one has created any problems then whats the harm if she loves your family member then let it alone no one has to be hurt or put though ant un nessary pain for the sake of breaking up, if people just mind there own and leave well alone then everyone can get along, we are all adults so let just act that way and allow them to be happy thats whats wrong now and days we wont let people just be HAPPY.
ReplyDeleteThe family members Happines is not the issue. If you had understood the blog, you would have seen what the real issue was. The reall issue is What is exceptable? What happens at family events, when you don't want anyone to be uncomforatble...do you invite the Ex when you know the family member will be bring the New Friend? As far as minding there own business your Family your business, so don't get that twisted!!!
ReplyDeleteI believe everyone should do whatever it is they want. If a family member wants to invite the 'Ex' to an event then there should be no issue. 'Partner A' should me mature enough to accept the fact that their family likes the 'Ex' and the 'New Friend' really doesn't have a say in it regardless, though the should be equally as mature. This also goes for the 'Ex'--they should be mature enough to keep in mind that they are not there for their 'Partner A' nor to cause trouble with the 'Mew Friend'. They are merely there because 'Partner A's' family invited them.
ReplyDeleteHappiness has nothing to do with it. Everyone should be grown enough to no how to handle themselves in "uncomfortable" situations. And honestly if its really THAT uncomfortable for either party then simply don't come to the event.
~Bonez
hmmm...... thats a tough one if the new one is not very likable make things very hard. i can relate i remember when me and E was not together and when ever he was around it was uncomfortable and when i could try to bring a New BF around it was always the same oh he nice.....but its not E LOL
ReplyDeleteI think that you should be able to invite the EX and the New person should be MATURE enough to realize that this was a LONG TERM relationship and OTHER Relationships blossomed from it. If you become friends with someone what makes it fair that you have to end that realationship because of a break up??? Friendship is a bond regardless of the situation. I also feel that the New person involved has caused conflict already and that may be the REAL reason THEY DIDNT GET INVITED. As a new person coming into a relationship you have to give it time, who's to say if you are going to be around that long??? you never know so you have to tread lightly in this case. Be mature and EVERYONE will be happy because in the end you want to be where that EX is!!! As far as letting you be happy that has nothing to do with it and telling the family in which you want to be a part of to mind thier business is not going to get you on the FRIENDS LIST either. Your realationship with thier relative is thier business and in most cases makes or breaks the longevity of the realationship so be careful how you deal with them. With all that being said everybody can get along as long as everyone has MOVED ON. If the partner is not COMPLETELY OVER THE EX then the new person will always find the need to defend themselves or comment or tell every one to mind thier business.
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